Tracks
IT TOOK ME A MOMENT
(Source: imposetonanonymat)
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me:
*breathes*
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mom:
you need to change your damn attitude
i see you driving round town with the girl i love and im like “what are you doing with my mom”
why does leonardo dicaprio always end up dead in the water with no girlfriend
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Period:
WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
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Period:
How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
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Period:
How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
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Period:
Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
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Period:
Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
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Period:
Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
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Period:
For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
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Period:
Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
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Period:
You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
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Period:
Yell at a puppy.
i’m just still so entertained by this
i really am
i want to put this on job applications
oh no is this making the rounds again help
am I the only one who thought her arm looked extremely dislocated
(Source: consumeconsume)
Oh my god
tumblr though
(Source: l1ar)
what do u put in a toaster
bread
this isnt even a joke
dumb story because i think i’m funny
we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered
‘hot wheels’
I love my boyfriend <3
I love my girlfriendremember to wear protection
wtf dad
Wtf mr president
omg lol busted
my parents said to go to bed early
it is early
in the morning
(Source: daysofgay)
